A hole in my yoga mat

Years ago, I had a PM Yoga program on a VHS tape that I loved.  A soothing female voice told me how to stretch and relax at the end of the day while I watched her do those stretches in the middle of a calm desert scene.  It was absolutely lovely.  And every time I did the program, I felt like I had done something wonderful for myself.  I started wanting to do more yoga.  I bought a lovely deep-purple yoga mat.  And I used it.  For a while.

And then life happened.  I moved the yoga tape with me, every time I moved, and it sat with all the other unused workout tapes.  Same story for the yoga mat.

Recently I've noticed that my temperament is not where I'd like it to be.  I feel myself getting angry over small, stupid things.  I yell easily.  I say horrible things to myself in the mirror about my expanding body.  In short, I don't like the state of my spirit.  I want to feel more joyful, more buoyant, more like me.  So, I've been trying to do some little things to help. 

I tried to find my beloved PM Yoga on DVD, but no luck.  So, I took a wild risk and found a new one.
The new DVD has a different scene:  a lush garden with an ocean vista in the background.  Purples, pinks, greens.  More like me than the last one, for sure.  Similar soothing voice.  Similar program.  Similar feel-good-feeling when I'm done.  Nice.  Just one problem.  Where is the yoga mat?  I remember it got put downstairs with all the fitness equipment.  It's got some crud on it, so I throw it in the bathtub to bring it out of retirement.  I spread it out to let it drip dry and what should I find? 

A hole.

A hole in my yoga mat.

A hole that I can only imagine was chewed into being by one of the tiny critters that occasionally stops into our home for a break from the outdoors.

I don't like what a hole in my yoga mat says about my fitness regimen.  I think it's saying not only has my purchased equipment been getting rusty and moth-eaten, but my body's equipment has been doing the same.  Clothes aren't fitting.  Muscles are feeling stiffer and unused.

So, I'm doing my PM Yoga as a single step toward a better me.  If you think this has nothing to do with a spiritual decluttering journey, think again.  Two nights in a row, I did this soothing evening meditation, complete with pleasant feelings that go with looking at a lush garden with an ocean in the background.  Good stuff.

Last night, I got ready for company.  I got some clutter stacks out of the way that I've been trying to go through, dusted, laid out the ingredients for making dinner the following day, bookmarked the recipes I was going to use, and even set the table the night before.  This is the kind of thing an organized person does.

Behold the power of a little PM Yoga. 

So...there's a hole in my yoga mat.  It's probably going to get put in the trash, because I'll never be able to do yoga and not think about a mouse hanging out right where that hole is....but maybe that little hole is the springboard I needed to remember not to let caring for myself be low on the priority list.  After all, I'm worth more than a yoga mat.  So are the people around me who have to deal with Grouchy McCrankypants whenever she shows up.  So, here's to a new day full of soothing music and mindful breathing.  Namaste backatcha, yoga lady.